Well Hito!
It’s the 2nd day of fall and I’ve been here in the house trying to find things; whether you moved them or I don’t remember where I put them, don’t matter that much, eventually I’ll find em’. I’ve been hearing things when it’s quiet enough, sounds like scratching. I sat still long enough to figure out it was the AC. It happens just before it starts and just before it stops. I knew it wasn’t you or Josh, otherwise you’d be dodging my ass before now.
Your mom ain’t doing well. She cried herself to sleep two times last night. Yeah, I said 2. You don’t know how much this hurts her and most people don’t have a clue. They think they do and even if they tried to fake believe their child was gone they’d still know it wasn’t true. Besides, no one wants to pretend that anyway. All I can say is; I hope they never have to know. I know you didn’t mean for this to happen, didn’t plan for it, else you would’ve tried to make it easier on your Mom. Well, whether you did or didn’t don’t make any damn difference now, does it? Hell, I wish it was you scratching on the door, cause then you’d be able to help your Mom. She told me last night, “He’s not coming back, is he?” I couldn’t say a thing, I just held her tighter and tried not to cry. I wish like hell you’d thought more about the consequences of you not waking up than just trying to push the limit. Wish in one hand, spit in the other, see which fills up first. Still, I can’t help but be pissed at you. Yeah, I know it ain’t the first time but this time it ain’t like any other. Yeah, I know Bubba, but sometimes I gottta say it, NO! I don’t hate your ass but you shouldn’t have done what you did. You should’ve thought about “what if!” These things have, kind of, a domino effect except they go in all different directions. Most of us are pretty frail. We live by our hearts and the heart needs love. When we lose one that we love we tend to become hurt and forget about all of those who love us and the hurt grows till we can’t feel the love others have for us. So we grow even sicker and wish we didn’t feel this way but the only solution we can think of is, “If we dwell on this long enough we won’t think of how we will hurt everyone that loves us and here comes the domino effect.” So if that was your ass scratching somewhere you’d better at least talk to your Mom and tell her, “It’ll be alright.” Never mind, she’s starting to hate that saying not cause it ain’t true but because it’s been said too many times. Especially when she’d rather have another answer and she will say, “I knew you were gonna say that thing.”
Hey man, I almost forgot to tell you about the dogs. Hold on, your mom’s calling. Huh, that went well! As long as I’m writing to you she’s fine. She didn’t even make me go to the store for her, go figure! I’ll never understand! I’m really beginning to think it’s true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus thing. The dogs? Oh yeah! You know that little scrawny puppy we got to breed with Reyna? Well after, (you know) Trish drove her Hummer all the way here from Albuquerque to be with your mom and brought all three of her little dogs, anyway Suzy “Q” went into heat, then Reyna, and then Tasha. Shut up! I can’t write that, this is going on your blog you know you can’t talk like that. You might have nephews and nieces and not to mention your own kids reading this stuff. Actually, the probability is pretty good anyway. First Suzie “Q” had 2 boys and 1 girl. The next week Reyna has 2 boys and they were both born breach and in the middle of the freaking night, I might add! I, OK – we had to pull the little basstards out of the fish bowl so they wouldn’t die, which wasn’t easy, cuz the second one (fattest) would pull his leg back in every time I’d grab his foot. Your Mom thought she’d broken his leg. I finally got a paper towel so I could get a grip and ended up pulling his little “fat” ass out. Poor little guy, his feet looked swollen from all the pinching and trying to get a hold on him. So, we’re up until 2 a.m. delivering pups and wondering if there’s any more. Your Mom takes Reyna in for an x-ray to make sure there ain’t any more left but there wasn’t. That was good! That was the night before I had to go to Dean’s “Celebration of Life”.
The very next Friday, what? Oh yeah! Tasha goes into labor around 7 pm. We stay up most of the night trying to help her but nothing’s happening. Anyway, we were at the vet’s office before they opened hoping the babies were still alive. Your mother gets out of the truck to go smoke a damned cigarette and gets bit by an old bitch (dog) which was being taken for a walk by one of the interns. Ok! Ok! She (Tasha) had 3 boys. We thought the odd ball wasn’t going to make it. Well, the vet said it might still die cause it had water in the lungs and it wouldn’t eat. I took the little rat and stuck his head to a nipple several times times before he finally opened his mouth and fed a little after that he didn’t have a problem! Tasha did though! They had to perform a C-section and take the babies so she was drugged up. She wasn’t sure where they came from of if they were hers. We kept her quieted down till we could get out of there, about 1 pm. They gave us some sheets to take em home in and we bought some more at a garage sale and delivered them to the vets. They were happy. Yeah, cost $600. Sure as hell wasn’t free! Anyway the pups are good. Well, it’s all good. Their starting to run all over the office and your Mom’s going nuts trying to keep up with 5 puppies but it helps to keep her mind off of you. She says she should charge for potty training. It’s only been 4 weeks for some and 5 weeks for Reyna’s but they’ve already been going out the doggie door. Drives your Mom nuts!!!! It really is a sight to see. The little guys, all 5 boys, are biting, pawing, and trying to run, rolling all over each other. It really is funny to watch but they’ll get bigger, faster and smarter in no time. Yeah, that’s what I thought, I need a video camera. You’re Mom’s going nuts!!!! I just hope nobody steps on any of the little rats or opens the door too quickly. Well, we all hope nothing bad happens but sometimes it just does. All of us screw up one way or another. None of us are sure of how we’re gonna make it. It gets harder when we lose someone we love. About all we can do is help hold each other up. Sometimes I miss you Bro! I said sometimes!!
You AHole! Love Andy
9/29/11
